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The Quest Project-A Young Man’s Testimony

Posted by on Jul 10, 2018 in Boys at School, From Boy to Man, Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms | 0 comments

There is no better compliment or greater satisfaction than receiving a testimonial from one of my clients.  Typically I hear from a parent, in this case, it comes from a 16-year-old young man! 

Testimonial

“The first time I stepped into Dr. Lessor’s office I had a lot of thoughts on my mind. The relationship between my mom and I has been rocky for a while and I always saw it as normal but, after realizing that it had gotten out of hand, I came to him seeking guidance around our relationship and my anger. I then made the choice to join the Quest Project. The Quest Project really helped me learn to deal with and come to terms with all of my emotions and relationships. Each Monday I was excited to learn about myself and learn ways to relieve my anger, stress, sadness etc. through methods that would greatly benefit me throughout the rest of my life.   Dr. Clay was helpful and he opened the doors for me to be able to fix the relationship with my mom, maintain relationships with my friends, make new relationships and become a man I am grateful for the Quest Project, as it helped me in ways I didn’t think were possible for me After the ten week of being in the program I made memories that will last a lifetime and built habits to cope with the stress and anger that come with becoming a man.”

(more…)

The Quest Project® Manifesto

Posted by on Jul 3, 2018 in Boys at School, From Boy to Man, Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms | 0 comments

As a 20+ year retired Captain of the United States Air Force it goes without saying I love my country and am proud to be an American!

Where else do you have the opportunity to be who you want to be, achieve your goals and debate your beliefs through freedom of speech.

My observation, we could use more positive; we should be reminded to respect and be respectful! (more…)

Warning Signs of Opioid Abuse

Posted by on Jun 26, 2018 in Boys at School, From Boy to Man, Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms | 0 comments

I’ve written many times about teens addicted to and dying from heroin, smoking pot and drinking. I recently covered the warning signs of suicide. There’s another potential killer you should be aware of, opioid abuse.

I am dedicating this blog to my dear friend who recently lost his 29-year-old son.

Opioids Can Kill

According to the National Center for Health Statistics opioid death rates in teens has climbed 19% in one year.

Be assured, if it’s happening this close to me, it can happen to you. The numbers are staggering. It’s no longer permissible to say, “that only happens to other people.”

In my friend’s case, his son was suffering from a broken bone for which he was prescribed pain killers. Seems innocent enough. In this case it cost him his life.

We’re seeing new legislation that would limit opioid prescriptions for pain. According to Healthline, some drugstore chains, states and health insurers are limiting new opioid prescriptions to a week; hoping it may reduce the potential for addiction.

The Danger Is Real

I’m going to approach this very straightforward because I am an advocate for children.  This is a serious problem among our young (and old) people alike.  My hope is that every parent will consider the very real possibility that opioids can invade your life.  It’s the only way we can save our kids.

Parents have told me, in all sincerity, “I experimented with drugs, usually pot, and with alcohol and I didn’t form an addiction.  I don’t think my son will ever do that!”

Remember these three rules:

First RuleDrinking before age 21 is illegal.  Doing illicit drugs is illegal, and both can kill you!

Second RuleNo two people are the same.  Times are different than when you were young!

Third RuleIf either parent has any addictive behavior, it doubles the chances the child will become addicted!

Some warning signs of opioid use are:

  • constipation
  • nodding off easily (drowsiness)
  • shallow or slow breathing
  • poor coordination
  • slurred speech
  • vomiting
  • mood swings
  • disinterest in appearance
  • change in sleep habit

Standing at a Crossroad

Experimenting adolescents will eventually come to a crossroad where they must make a choice.  They will say to themselves that they don’t want much to do with smoking pot or drinking.  Their other choice is chronic use and a potential gateway to harder drugs, drinking, or other addictive behavior.  That’s where my experience is effective.

I can sometimes help with recovery.  When I can identify “the wound” (traumatic event) and understand the time, space and what is going on, I can become a much needed resource.  Your son or daughter has to be part of saving themselves.  It is imperative that this is put right in front of them!

Finally, to my friend who is wracked with the pain and grief of losing his child, my hope is that by telling your story it can save another family from going through such a tragic ordeal. 

Warning Signs of Suicide

Posted by on Jun 19, 2018 in From Boy to Man, Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms, Uncategorized | 0 comments

It seems a day doesn’t go by without hearing about another suicide on the news, from a friend or a client who’s either dealing with the pain of loss or worse, having suicidal thoughts.

Me Too

As a therapist I help clients deal with the devastating effects of death and the loss that accompanies it on a regular basis.  I’m also trained and qualified to help clients who may be dealing with losing someone to suicide or are having suicidal thoughts themselves. 

I, like most of you, have been directly affected by suicide and lost someone very close to me.  Not only was I shocked and full of sadness, I was angry and raw with emotion.  Losing a loved one to suicide can leave you broken.  I understand.  It’s not fair and it’s at times unexpected. (more…)

To: Dad

Posted by on Jun 12, 2018 in Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms, Uncategorized | 0 comments

To all the fathers out there who are committed to be the best DAD they can be.

When I refer to fathers in my blogs, I also emphasize and stress the importance of being a “responsible, healthy and safe role model.” More and more fathers are asking me “how do I be a good dad?”  My answer is simple, I tell them “be present your son needs you!”  (more…)

Raising Sons? He Needs A Plan!

Posted by on Jun 5, 2018 in Boys at School, From Boy to Man, Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms | 2 comments

When Tom Roten of The Tom Roten Morning Show called to ask if I’d like to come on his show and talk about the 30-year-old man whose parents were imploring the court to help them “boot him” out of the house, I quickly responded ABSOLUTELY!

Though I cover the topic of having “an exit plan” for your son regularly, Tom knows just how important it is. Not only because he has four boys of his own, he is dedicated to improving lives and the work I do in The Quest Project.  You can listen to our conversation here. (more…)

Parenting Tips: Schools Out!

Posted by on May 29, 2018 in Boys at School, Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms | 0 comments

Spring and summer are my favorite seasons; the days are longer, and the sun shines brighter!  However, I know for many parents this time of year can be chaotic because SCHOOLS OUT!  Where’s my son, and what’s he doing! 

School’s Out for Summer

So here it is barely Spring time and the kids are getting out of school.  What have you planned with your son?  Are you going to take a vacation, maybe you planted a garden or have a spring/summer project to do together?  

I can already hear many of you saying, “Oh sure, I can’t get the kids to help me with anything!”  (more…)

Core Value-Accountability

Posted by on May 22, 2018 in Boys at School, From Boy to Man, Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms | 2 comments

Along with honesty, empathy and integrity, I regard accountability a very important core value.

The “Yes…but” Game

Do you play the “yes…but” game at your house?  Too many times parents are quick to “move on” if their child has done something wrong.  “Yes, I wrecked the car mom…but it wasn’t my fault!”

There’s no accountability!

Let’s start with a simple, clear definition of accountability:

“the quality or state of being accountable; especially an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions”

(more…)

Fantasy Son

Posted by on May 15, 2018 in From Boy to Man, Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms | 2 comments

 

Every parent has hopes and dreams for their child; a fantasy!  You looked at your newborn boy and saw endless possibilities. He’ll be a doctor, star athlete, CEO of a corporation or President of the United States!

The problem with this kind of thinking is that there is usually—in fact, always—a difference between this fantasy son you’ve created in your mind and the actual, flesh-and-blood son you have in real life.

Simple Exercise!

To get parents thinking about the difference between their expectations for their son and the reality of who he is, I put together this exercise.

Grab a piece of paper and a pen. (more…)

A Special Message For Mom

Posted by on May 8, 2018 in Boys at School, From Boy to Man, Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms | 0 comments

This is dedicated to all the Mom’s out there who are raising son(s)! 

Thanks To Mom

If you’re a single Mom, you don’t need me to tell you how hard it is raising kids alone.  Most mom’s I talk to feel they are filling the role of dad too.  You are most likely working a full-time job, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and running a million errands; there aren’t enough hours in the day!

Suddenly amid everything else your son (at approximately age 11+) acts like he can’t stand to be around you. At times you feel like he hates your guts. 

There’s a biological reason why this is happening. (more…)