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Posted by on Jul 11, 2017 in From Boy to Man, Parenting Tips, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project | 0 comments

Raising Sons: Giving Boys What They Need

 

I was honored when Aisha Sultan, home and family editor of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch recently wrote an article about my journey, and how it led to my life’s work. 

Raising Sons: In Case You Missed It

The article is titled “Giving boys what they need when fathers are absent” and appropriately published on Fathers Day.  I heard from many fathers, young and old telling me how the article touched them.  Some are raising sons today.  Some are hoping to heal the wounds of their past relationship with their father.

I’ve shared my story many times; however, I don’t think it could have been “summed up” any better than Aisha did in her article. 

You’re Not A Victim

Change can happen and I encourage anyone reading this who may be in an abusive environment to first get out of it; if you are the abuser-STOP IT!  Children should never grow up in an abusive home.  Kids can have PTSD too; as I told Aisha “I don’t even remember being in school” “my childhood was suffering.”   It took years of therapy to recover from my abusive father. 

Raising Sons: Wounds Must Be Healed

I carried a significant amount of pain from my relationship with my father.  The father wound doesn’t heal itself.  “It doesn’t just go away with time.”  That’s why I do what I do, to help adolescent boys identify their pain and heal their wound.  Otherwise, they grow up self-medicating or running from it.

Ultimately There’s Forgiveness

I have forgiven my parents.  As I told Aisha “it comes up once in a while, what comes up is just sadness, and then I move on.”  I hope you’ll take the time to click the link above and read the article.  I believe you will understand why my mission is “to create healthy lifestyles by teaching, facilitating, writing and example.

Finally, book #2 is well on its way!  It will focus on fathers, providing insight to the importance of their role in their adolescent son’s life.  Stay connected for updates as the book progresses!

After reading Aisha’s article, please share your questions and thoughts in the comments below.

You may also enjoy: A Special Message For Fathers

Clayton Lessor
Clayton Lessor, PhD in education and counseling, is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
Clayton Lessor

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