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Posted by on Nov 29, 2016 in From Boy to Man, Saving Our Sons, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms | 0 comments

Raising Your Son: the Best Gift to Give

Raising Your Son: The Best Gift


Raising Your Son

Raising your son can be challenging at times. I want you to know the best gift you can give your son.  It isn’t a new video game or new pair of jeans, it’s not tangible at all, and it is the best gift you can give!

My Gift to You

The number of boys growing up without a father is staggering.  The side effects can be devastating.  I make it my life’s mission to give you all the guidance I can to help you while raising your son.

So, what’s the gift?  If your son is growing up without dad, he likely has a “void” deep inside that you don’t know exists.  While raising your son, you may notice a sadness at times, a fit of anger now and then or he withdraws completely.  I see it a lot with boys in my practice The Quest Project®.  I call it a “void” because for him that’s how it feels. 

When dad is present, he teaches and guides a son and most times fills the void I’m speaking about by validating and encouraging him. 

Your Gift to Your Son

Here’s how you can help when dad is absent.  The void I’m referring to is a higher power.  A higher power can be church, therapy, their gift or a job; ultimately it is a place or something they do that makes them feel loved, blessed or appreciated. 

Your gift to him is helping him determine and understand there’s nothing wrong with him and what he’s feeling, under the circumstances, is normal.  The next step is getting him connected to what his higher power is in order to fill the void.  As an example: if church is his higher power, make sure he can get there on a regular basis to hear the word.

A couple words of caution here: 

  • If you don’t help and guide him he will begin to experiment with filling his void with sex, drugs, alcohol, video games, violence or some other unhealthy option.
  • Be cautious of the “arm chair” therapist.  This person may offer a diagnosis to your son such as “I think you’re depressed,” “I think you’re having issues for this or that reason” or “you need medication to make you feel better.” Information coming from an unqualified person of power can do more damage than good.  A diagnosis should be determined by a licensed professional counselor, psychologist or medical doctor only; one qualified to make that type of assessment.

This package may not be wrapped in a big box with a fancy bow but it is priceless for a young man that doesn’t have dad around to mentor him.  Does this sound like a gift you’d like to give? If so, find out more about guiding your son, with or without dad being present, in Saving Our Sons- A Parent’s Guide for Preparing Boys for Success, a Mom’s Choice Award recipient.




Clayton Lessor
Clayton Lessor, PhD in education and counseling, is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice. He is author of "Generation of Men: How to raise your son to be a healthy man among men" and “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Dr. Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 The Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years. Dr. Clay is a member of the Steering Committee for The Coalition to Create a White House Council for Boys and Men.
Clayton Lessor
Clayton Lessor

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