Blog
Parenting Tip: Conflict Resolution Examples
Conflict Resolution: Conversation Examples
I chose two of the conflicts I see frequently between an adolescent boy and his parent.
Conflict Resolution Tool
- State the facts: Who, What, When and Where
- Make a judgment: A judgment is an “I think you or me statement” about self and about other person
- State feeling: The Big Four-mad, sad, glad or afraid (can be a combination of these)
- Say what you want: You want to be heard and what you want to be different
Parenting Tip: How to Resolve Conflict
Parenting & Conflict
Conflict is a part of life. I know people who thoroughly enjoy conflict and others who avoid it at all costs. One of the cornerstones I cover with adolescent boys and their parents is “conflict resolution.” By utilizing my process the family is able to communicate more effectively and peacefully.
You-You-You
One of the biggest mistakes in a conflict is “you-ing” someone:
- “You did that wrong”
- “You act like a child”
- “You never do what I ask you to do”
- “You don’t think things through”
It is the quickest way to escalate a conflict; “you-ing” someone creates a confrontation. It feels like an attack when it’s approached this way versus using “I” statements. (more…)
Midwest Book Review Recommends “Saving Our Sons: A Parent’s Guide to Preparing Boys for Success” for Their Parenting Shelf
Thumbs Up
Getting reviews on work you’ve put your heart and soul into is so gratifying! Don’t we all love getting a thumbs up?
The Quest Project® continues to have one success after the next. One of this week’s highlights was being reviewed by Midwest Book Review.
Established in 1976, Midwest Book Review publishes monthly book review magazines specifically designed for community and academic librarians, booksellers, and the general reading public. MBR literally has thousands of books to consider, it is quite an honor to be selected for their Parenting Shelf.
MBR’s Review
Therapy and Group Work: The Importance of a Qualified Facilitator
A Look Behind the Scenes
One thing I have not shared is I’m a facilitator of The Quest Project®. I am in the “trenches” with the boys that come to see me. I do this work myself, I’m good at it. I know how to quickly uncover and get to the wound an adolescent boy carries. Since 2000 I have facilitated over 2000 adolescent boys in their growth and healing!
In recent discussions with several organizations that want to bring The Quest Project® to their city, they were amazed that “I” would be working with the boys. There was an assumption that I would send staff and oversee the work. Not the case! I don’t fly in and spend an hour doing a keynote speech to kick things off and leave the work to someone else, I do the work- it’s my mission! Someday I will have a protégé, in the meantime, I am the one to get this done. (more…)
Raising Sons: Integrity, Instilling as a Core Value
With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt. Zig Ziglar
I came across this quote recently. I couldn’t get the word “integrity” off of my mind, I ultimately came across this Forbes’ article. It’s a great read, let me know what you think.
Core Value-Integrity
So, what does this have to do with parenting boys? EVERYTHING! (more…)
Raising Sons? Meet Clayton Lessor
Would you like to know who I am and why I do this work?
A Sad Little Boy
My childhood in quiet suburban South City was anything but quiet. I lived in fear of my dad. I spent most of my time at school tired and scared because I’d been awake most of the night before scared to death. So many times, I wished that someone (a teacher, neighbor, pastor, family member) would notice or help, but no one did so I had to learn to handle my circumstances to survive. (more…)
Parenting Boys? 3 Stages of Trouble
When parenting boys, most parents can’t believe their son is troubled. What in the world does he have to be troubled about?
It’s interesting the word troubled can be perceived differently to each of us. An example of two extremes is: “being afraid to talk to a girl (mild),” to “committing a crime (severe).” When I say, every boy is troubled, the only question is to what degree or level. I frequently use this scale as a guide when parenting boys:
- severe
- moderate
- mild
Raising a Son: The 5 Things No One Ever Told You About
Raising a son can be difficult, especially if you’re a mom “going it alone.” There is a time in your son’s life that having a healthy male role model is imperative- and that time is when he is transitioning from a boy to a man.
Suddenly, during this time your son acts like he can’t stand to be around you; he acts like he hates your guts. You find yourself saying something like “where did my sweet little boy go?” Don’t give up, this is a critical time when raising a son and he needs you. (more…)
Parenting Boys: What You Need To Know
Are you parenting boys? Is dad active in his life? Do you worry he could be in trouble?
Parenting Boys: Boys Without Fathers
One of the most common issues our boys face is growing up without their father.
According to estimates, one in three boys currently lives in a home without a father or other strong male role model. (more…)
Raising Sons: “Priceless” Co-Parenting Tip
If you are raising sons and co-parenting with your ex, chances are communication is strained at best. Here is a parenting tip I think could be valuable and helpful.
For the best results both parents need to be on same page in both homes-creating a team; more importantly the kids need to know mom and dad are in communication and are going to be consistent!
