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Posted by on Apr 25, 2017 in Parenting Tips, The Quest Project, Tips for Moms | 0 comments

Parenting Boys: The Importance of Activity

Parenting Boys and the Importance of Sports Activity

You’ve heard it said many times “boys are physical and visual!”  That statement is not only true, it’s proven.  This inspired me to write about parenting boys and  sports activity. Sports enables adolescent boys to get mentoring from a coach and a “release” of stored/pent-up energy with their peers.

Keep Your Son Active Through Sports Activity

Boys are inherently different than girls, they are mostly active, curious and competitive. One of the best ways to get your young son engaged is by nudging (encouraging) him to do something active.  In my experience with over 2000 boys, most agree sports can provide the physical and visual need that exists.  As a bonus a sense of accomplishment and fun!

If you’re a single parent mom raising boys I strongly suggest getting them involved in sports! They’ll learn to be on a team (camaraderie) and more likely than not, they’ll get some mentoring from their coaches.

My Experience

As a boy, my dad was absent so mom did the best she could basically trying to survive and get through the day and the week.  I learned very early on if I wanted to have fun and be with other kids I would need to play baseball, hockey, football, karate or some other team sport.  My case was extreme and I wanted to stay away from the madness that was “my home.” 

Generally, that’s not the case and your son will learn some very important lessons being on a team, all the while getting plenty of exercise and activity!

The Research-The Bonus!

Research supports a direct positive effect on behavior as a result of extracurricular activity.  Corine Driessens, Ph.D. research article:  Extracurricular activity participation moderates impact of family and school factors on adolescents’ disruptive behavioural problems  published in the BMC Public Health Journal is worth the read. 

Additionally, he will learn: 

  • teamwork
  • camaraderie
  • fun
  • how to “try harder”
  • and to not QUIT!

Be Engaged!

A tip:  GO AND WATCH HIS GAMES.

Remember to tell your son how proud you are of him and how great he’s doing.  Know that he appreciates the acknowledgment even if he doesn’t acknowledge he does (yep-strange but true!)!

I still remember every game my mom attended, and I remember every game she didn’t attend.  Get to his games and cheer him on, show your support.  I stopped looking for or expecting to see my mom in the stands.  It’s a sad feeling I wouldn’t wish on any young boy.

If sports aren’t his thing, maybe it’s band or choir, that’s great too. The message here is to get him involved in an activity he can be proud of (this excludes T.V.!).

Video games are fun for boys and they do feel a sense of accomplishment and competition.  However, video games are not the same as being in the presence of other boys, with a mentor or a coach.

In The Quest Project®, we do a goal setting exercise, 70% of the boys have a goal of being a professional athlete!  It’s their goal, what they want to be when they grow up and that’s healthy; I encourage them to make it a reality.  

Does your son play sports?  Do you find it has a positive impact?

Clayton Lessor
Clayton Lessor, PhD in education and counseling, is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
Clayton Lessor
Clayton Lessor

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