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Posted by on Feb 3, 2017 in From Boy to Man, Parenting Tips, The Quest Project | 0 comments

Raising Sons: Integrity, Instilling as a Core Value

With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt.   Zig Ziglar

 

I came across this quote recently.  I couldn’t get the word “integrity” off of my mind, I ultimately came across this Forbes’ article.  It’s a great read, let me know what you think.

 

Core Value-Integrity

So, what does this have to do with parenting boys?  EVERYTHING! 

Integrity is so important and I ask you this:  “Are you teaching your son the importance of integrity; are you an example for him to follow?”  Integrity is one of our most core values.  Start now with your child, it will stay with him the rest of his life.

That means when he makes a mistake, and he will, he can trust that he can be honest with you and face the consequences.  It also means that you, as his example, will appreciate the honesty and deal with it accordingly. 

What a concept! 

What a great young man he will grow up to be if he’s taught to do the right thing, no matter what.

Integrity- At All Ages 

When my nephew was only three, maybe four years old I took him to the local drug store on a warm summer day.  When we checked out and headed to the car, I noticed he was carrying a candy bar. We hadn’t paid for a candy bar.  “Hey buddy” I said, “Did we pay for that?”  He just shrugged. I sent him back in to put the candy bar back explaining that we can’t have it if we didn’t pay for it.  I watched him toddled back into the store to put it back.  Next thing I know I see him put it back and pick up a different one!  When he got back to the car I said “Did you pay for that one?” He said “No.”  So, what did I do? Of course, we went back in together and put the candy back with a clear understanding if you want something you must pay for it!  He didn’t know that candy bars weren’t free, but that’s exactly how you learn.

Now honestly it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen, and the store clerk was barely able to keep a straight face but the lesson was important and a core value was instilled.  This is just one example of how to teach integrity.

The Big Three

Integrity covers so many things:

  • doing the right thing
  • honesty
  • trust

Once instilled, it really does set you apart from others.  I did a blog on “Birds of a Feather” but I must say I liked how the writer phrased it in the article above “when you lie down with dogs you get fleas!”  In other words, it’s important that your son is choosing friends that have the same values as him, otherwise, he’ll get fleas! 

Share your experience in regards to integrity- Did integrity shine through, or was it missing?

 

 

 

 

Clayton Lessor
Clayton Lessor, PhD in education and counseling, is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice. He is author of "Generation of Men: How to raise your son to be a healthy man among men" and “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Dr. Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 The Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years. Dr. Clay is a member of the Steering Committee for The Coalition to Create a White House Council for Boys and Men.
Clayton Lessor
Clayton Lessor

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